Find The Courage
by Sarisa2
Summary: Susie and Kris love the weekend. The fun squad comes together again every time. But Susie seems reluctant to go home. Why is she so afraid? Maybe the Dark World isn't a bad place for her to grow up. (Rated T for mention of abuse, neglect, and alcoholism. I'll probably update once a month or so.)
1. Chapter 1

"Hey Kris!" Susie yelled. "Can't we just _go in_ already?"

Kris sighed. "I need to make sure I have everything, first." He rifled through his backpack, checking things off a mental list. "Alright, we're good." He gave a genuine smile. "Let's go."

They opened the door to the supply closet. So dark.

They glanced at each other, then jumped into the Dark World.

"Lancer! Kris and Susie are here!" Ralsei called.

A familiar looking spade came running. "Hohoho! The Fun Squad is back together again!"

He hugged Susie tightly.

"Hey dude, slow down." She patted him awkwardly, then lightly pushed him away.

"We missed you two," Ralsei said. "It's really great that you get to visit us every weekend, though."

They began walking towards the castle. They chatted and laughed.

"Ralsei's been teaching me how to improve my baking! My Lancer Cookies taste a lot better now!" Lancer said happily.

Ralsei blushed lightly. "It was easy! He had just forgotten the baking soda."

"I can't wait to try it!" Susie said happily, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Good news everyone. My mom is going to take a couple hours longer than usual to clean today," Hanging out with this group had given Kris more confidence, allowing him to be more talkative.

Susie did a fist pump. "Yeah! Awesome!"

They reached the castle.

Susie smiled happily. "Alright guys, we brought some games today."

Kris set his backpack down and pulled out Monopoly, Sorry, Blokus, a chess/checkers set, and a deck of cards.

* * *

They had finally decided to take a break from playing games to talk a bit.

"So you two, what's going on at your school?" Ralsei asked, always interested in the Light World.

"Well, we're having student council elections soon," Kris said with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Lancer tilted his head. "What's a student council election?" He asked curiously.

Susie perked up. "Well basically, it's a way to decide what student should represent the grade. They get to be a role model, kinda like a king."

"So they tell everyone what to do?" Perhaps that wasn't a bad assumption from his point of view.

Kris shook his head. "No. They help to make the school better."

Lancer nodded, but whether or not he actually understood is up for debate.

Susie sighed.

This did not go unnoticed by anyone in the throne room.

"What's wrong, Susie?" Ralsei asked, empathy dripping in his voice.

"I'm fine." She paused. "Just happy to be here.

Kris and Ralsei met eyes. They passed a silent conversation between each other, both concerned for Susie's well-being.

She had done this before. Always she had given the same "I'm fine" that had lost it's meaning over the month.

Ralsei looked right at Susie. "We're friends, remember? You can tell us, whatever it is."

Lancer smiled. "Yeah! Cool purple girls shouldn't have to be sad!" Oh, bless his sweet innocence.

Susie sighed again, a sound that was becoming quite familiar to all of them. "I don't know if you guys can handle it. It's not exactly an easy topic to deal with."

Kris pursed his lips. He understood what Susie was getting at: she didn't think Lancer could deal with it.

Ralsei seemed to understand too. "Hey Lancer, why don't you go make some cookies? We'll wait for you here."

Lancer jumped up. "That's a great idea!" He said excitedly. "I can make some lemonade, too!"

Kris nodded. "Alright, we'll wait for you here.

Lancer skipped off, obviously heading towards the kitchen.

* * *

"I don't know if I'm ready to tell anybody this," Susie said quietly, her voice shaking.

"It's alright, Susie. We won't judge you," Ralsei reassured.

Susie let her bangs fall back into her eyes. "Alright, but I don't want your pity."

Ralsei and Kris looked at each other.

"Fine, Susie. We won't pity you," Kris said, emotion slowly leaving his voice.

Ralsei thought for a short moment, then nodded.

"Okay. Get ready. This one's a doozy."


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright. I'll start with one thing at a time." Long pause. "My family is poor. Very poor. My mom doesn't work. She hardly qualifies for unemployment checks. Me, her, and my little brother never have enough to eat."

Kris suddenly realized something. No wonder she had eaten the chalk; she was just that hungry. The term starving took on a more literal meaning.

Ralsei almost said something, but closed his mouth. No pity. He reminded himself sadly. I can't try to comfort her.

Kris shook his head, almost imperceptibly. He had been expecting something bad, but this? This was too much.

Susie took a deep, but shaky breath. "Second, my mom is always, always, always drunk. Or hungover. Sometimes both, if it's a bad day."

Another shocker. Kris pursed his lips and Ralsei held back a gasp.

Susie closed her eyes. "Third, my mom is abusive to me and my brother."

They both gasped then. This was too crazy to hide emotions.

Both of them wanted to say "I'm sorry" but they remembered their promise.

"Yup. Pretty fucked, huh?"

They both nodded quietly.

"Anyway, that's why I always prefer the Dark World." She shook her head. "Let's pretend I never told you anything. I want things to stay the same between us."

Ralsei and Kris nodded slowly. They wanted their friendship to stay the same, but stronger.

It was at that moment that Lancer walked in. "Hey clowns, I finished the cookies!"

"Oh, yummy! I can't wait!" Ralsei said, feigning happiness.

"I bet you two came up with a really great recipe," Kris added.

"Yeah! Come on! Let's eat!"

* * *

Lancer didn't know what to think.

When he had left the room, it turned out that there were some leftover cookies in the fridge. He heated them up in the microwave easily.

He was about to come in, but waited just a moment.

And he heard it all. The things that Susie hadn't wanted him to know.

He was hurt. He felt bad that Susie didn't think he could handle it. He felt bad that Susie had gone through that. Surely he, with his experience in parental issues, was the one that could handle it the best of them all. Yet she didn't tell him.

His low self-esteem shrunk as questions drifted in and out of his mind. Did she not trust him? Was her opinion of him really that low? Did she really think of him as just a silly little kid, and not an equal?

Surely not. Yet he wasn't sure.

He kept a quiet resolve to ask her about it later. But not now, oh no. He would wait until she was in a better mood. He didn't want her to hurt even more.

He smiled to himself as he realized that he hadn't made the promise. He was the only one that could try to comfort her in good conscience.

* * *

Susie was conflicted. She didn't know how to feel now that she'd let it all out.

Of course many would expect relief. But all she felt was a dull apathy that chilled her to the bone.

She shrugged it off as shock, but couldn't get rid of a tug at the back of her mind that screamed something was wrong.

That tug faded on its own, however, as it was replaced with a spark of an idea. An idea that, if executed correctly, could ultimately save her and her brother.

The idea formed slowly and carefully. She wasn't even sure it would work. All she knew was that it _might_ be possible.

But it could wait. Right now she was talking and eating with her friends. All she wanted to do right now was preserve that bliss.

She could wait another week or two.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3. The Woman

"Child, what are you doing?!" A strange goat-like woman stood on the pathway.

"Evil flower! Run!" Paolo quickly stopped running when she saw the expression on the woman's face.

"Child, stand behind me. NOW!" Paolo jerked herself behind the woman. Flowey was popping up and going down closer and closer, but froze when he saw the woman. He pulled himself underground, and didn't pop up again.

"What a horrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent child. My name is Toriel. I am the guardian of the Ruins." Toriel gently rubbed Paolo's head.

"Toriel? That's a nice name. My name is Paolo." Paolo hugged her legs. "Thank you for saving me."

"Of course, child. I am surprised you got away at that point, though."

"I slid under them and then ran to you."

"Ah. I see." Toriel had a thoughtful look on her face. "Follow me dear. I will guide you through the Ruins."

"The Ruins? You live here?" Paolo gestured to the white columns and violet walls.

"Yes. I have lived here for a long time."

"Where did you live before?"

"I do not wish to talk about it, my child."

"But-"

"That is enough." Toriel spoke with ice in her voice. After that, Paolo shut up. On that topic, anyway.

"So, what's that?"

"That is a switch, my chi-"

"What's that?"

"A bridge, dea-"

"What about that?"

"Paolo, you must let me finish my sente-"

"What's that over there?"

"Child, please let me finish my-"

"Ooh! What's that?"

"Slow down dea-"

"That looks cool! What is it?"

"Child, let me finis-"

"What about that thingy?"

"I will answer if you let me finish my-"

"How about that over ther-"

"Paolo that is ENOUGH! Calm down child!"

"Sorry," Paolo lowered her head in minor shame.

"That's quite alright dear. I simply lack the energy to keep up with you."

"Ok... Mom." Paolo skipped ahead as Toriel stood in stunned silence.


End file.
